2008 超低能，劲搞笑 - 大马政治电影颁奖礼

Received this message from my friend. Felt very funny but true, so here I risking my life and share this with you guys.

最佳电影：《308之夜》
最佳导演： 安华《916之梦》
最佳男主角： 伯拉《梦中人》
最佳女主角： 郭素沁《监狱风云之火箭十三妹》
最佳男配角： 阿末伊斯迈《寄人篱下》
最佳女配角： 陈云清《洗冤录3》
最佳新人： 赛夫《股惑仔之后庭开花》
最具人气： 柏特拉《光头博客》
最佳外国电影 / 最佳编剧 / 最佳特效 / 最佳剪接： 纳吉《人肉叉烧包之蒙古碎尸》
最佳本土电影： 《林甘正传》
最佳成人电影： 《老蔡传奇之同一个房间》
最佳悬疑片： 《C+侦探之一切由失踪开始》
最佳恐怖片： 《午夜凶令之ISA》
最佳旅游宣传片： 《远走高飞之台湾考察团》
最佳电影主题曲： 行动党 《改变》
最佳服装设计： 黄燕燕 《透明睡衣》
终身成就奖： 马哈迪 《黑马王子之重出江湖》
评审团： 大马人民

Note:
18PL : For 18+ with non-excessive sex scenes and with political/ religious/ counter-culture elements.
Best read with parents guidance, if you don't understand, you can ask your parents ma...right?
I have no intention to disturb the community, I believe I don't have such big influence lor...

你将我唔死，吹吖！

Here's some of my older post I drafted few months ago.

CK and I was playing Chinese Chess until 2am. Red = CK, Back = me. CK seems to be the big winner coz he had the most army surrounded my territory, but I still manage to survive. Whoo Haa, I will survive!

Hey, CK! We are not done yet! 你将我唔死，吹吖！

Ridicules! 真系离晒大谱!

有毋搞错？离晒大谱！Add人地入你Facebook，只系为咗搞古惑仔 online，真系俾你吹胀！

Really ridicules, unacceptable!

Adding me in her FB just want to gain point to play online game

Loh Bok Lai = Loh Bak Nai?

At GSC's main entrance, I spotted this poster.


International Screen @ GSC: Thing We Do When We Fall In Love 当我们同在一起


Can you spot out what's wrong with this poster?

There's nothing wrong with the name. But it just the English translation sounds funny, like "Lo Bak Nai" (萝卜奶).


Think twice in Malay, Hokkien, Hakka, Cantonese & Mandarin before naming your child.

Click here for movie official site

VIVA means LIFE in Latin

Both my dad and bro was sitting at the dining table. Each of them having their own laptop side by side connected to the Wifi. It was so silent that only can hear our CPU fans blowing out the hot air. 3 of us were sooo concentrate on our own stuff; my bro checking his mail, my dad preparing his presentasion slide, my mum was sleeping and I'm reading Paul Tan's blog.

We had a short conversation, and my bro make fun of my dad. The conversation went on, and here how it's goes.

Onn: Yan, the VIVA is so ulgly la ... (then continue reads his mail)
Yan: .... (didn't pay attention on what he's talking)
Dad: What is VIVA?

Onn: He he he... A pretty women. No la, it's a car's name.
Yan: It's a car la! Perodua's new car (not knowing that my bro already told my dad).
Dad: I know it's a car. Your bro just told me that laaa.

10 seconds later...

Dad: Do you know what's the meaning of VIVA?
Onn: What?
Dad: VIVA is Latin word, it means 'LIFE'.
Onn: Yea.. I know.

Dad: Most of the Latin words which started with letter 'V' are related to LIFE.
Onn: Oh really? (Not convinced with the statement he made) How about Vitagin?
Dad: ... ...

5 seconds later...

Onn: How about Volvo? Visa ?
Dad: ... ...
Yan: LOL!

Quote of the day

Quote of the day, laugh till your balls shake.

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I've made your horn louder."

LOL!! -_-

Appraisal Letter

Just want to share with you guys the forward email which I receive from my friend recently.
Please read until the end of the letter, especially the last part. Then go thru the letter again.
LOL

Dear Mananger (HR),

Vivek, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard work in his cubicle. Vivek works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Vivek never
think twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finished given assignments on time. Often Vivek takes extended
measure to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Vivek is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Vivek can be
classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Vivek be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
sent away as soon as possible.

Signed - Project Leader



NB: That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote the report
sent to you earlier today. Kindly read on the odd lines (1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13)
for my true assessment of him.

媽咪笑話篇 - 細我30歲既老婆

有一對60歲既夫妻 .
一日, 有一個仙女o比o巨地每人一個願望 .

老婆：我希望可以環遊世界!!
仙女一叮! 老婆手上就o查住一張環遊世界既機票 .

老公唸o左一下 .
老公：我希望我有個細我30歲既老婆 !! 哈哈
叮! 仙女就將o巨變成90歲 .

媽咪笑話篇 - 耳聾機

我開車準備同家人去吃飯. 在路途中, 坐在後座既媽咪講o左一個笑話. 都幾好笑既.
同你地分享下啦.

媽咪：啊仁, 要唔要聽一個笑話?
啊仁：好啊!
媽咪：有一對夫妻. 老公剛剛買o左一個好貴既耳聾機 (助聽器), 怕老婆鬧.

老公：老婆, 今日我買o左一個非常好既耳聾機.
老婆：有幾好啊?
老公：戴上依個耳聾機, 連樓下煲水水滾都聽到!
老公：外面人家開摩多車, 一公里外都聽到!
老公：西利冇?　
老婆：... o感 ... 幾多錢啊?
老公：哦 ... 依家係 ... 兩點半囉 ...

媽咪：你地講, 好唔好笑?

Dude, I broke my card

(死火, 我碌爆張卡)

chris: where's the nearest hsbc bank?
yan: just downstairs of my office
chris: ok, thanks

chris : Dai wok! my credit card can't use liao.. I swapped it until the card broke (我碌爆張卡)
yan : why leh, over limit ar?
chris: Impossible..

yan: how much is your credit card limit?
chris: 5K gua..I think...

yan: then what happened actually?
chris: my card is broken. I show you lah! with his hand holding the card
yan: LOL.. you memang keong!